The reality of being Australian and why it is disappointing.

Australians have a pretty good reputation around the world. Sure people can ask us stupid questions like “Do you guys travel in the pouches of kangaroos?” and “So, is this a knife?” (the answer to both being, fucking obviously), but in terms of anything of real importance, such as our politics, current affairs and foreign policy, we pretty much get a mulligan. Nobody really cares about what we’re doing when superpowers such as America, Britain and China are hogging all the sweet ‘being a subject of scrutiny’ spotlight. In comparison we’re less leading role and more stagehand.

Whenever you travel overseas, as soon as people realise you’re Australian, they decide that the next best course of action is to get you drunk and make various jokes about wanting to go ‘down under’. Yet despite these frequent dalliances into the land of ingeniously thought out puns and witticisms, being Australian can have its drawbacks. Namely, that we’re a lot less awesome than we think we are and we don’t even realise it.

Apparently we have fallen for our own Tourism ads and accordingly we have a fairly good opinion of ourselves that is either not shared by others or is completely at odds with the reality of our situation. What am I talking about? I’ll tell you after I stop awkwardly asking myself rhetorical questions as a segue into the article.


We think we’re totally bad arse.

Thanks to myths of bad arsery perpetuated by ‘Crocodile Dundee’, ‘Mad Max’, ‘The Crocodile Hunter’ and Russell Crowe’s right arm, Australia has put forth the idea that if we’re not out in the desert wrestling crocs or navigating a post-apocalyptic wasteland overrun by awful, awful children, it’s merely because the waiting list is just too damn long.

As mentioned almost everywhere on the internet, Australia is a veritable death trap of deserts, insects, animals and serial killers. As a consequence Australians enjoy a fairly consistent (if tongue-in-cheek) characterisation as indestructible desert people who battle daily through a deadly mire of things that want to kill us.


Calm down little fella or I’m gonna give you a spanking.


The problem doesn’t lie with the expectations of others, however, rather it lies with our own bizarre, usually subconscious beliefs that we actually are all those things that we pretend to be in the talkies (or the ‘big pictures’ as they’re commonly called). When confronted with danger, we almost immediately start convincing ourselves that despite having lived in the inner city for most of our lives, we are completely capable of Mad Maxing all over the place, entirely forgetting about the fight we lost to our bean bag last night in the eternal struggle to get up off the ground. In other words, we tend to buy into our own stereotypes to the detriment of our health and safety.

One example of this mentality is Australian comedian, Mick Molloy’s attempt to wrangle a snake whilst on holiday in Vanuatu, despite being city born and raised. Fortunately he managed to get a hold of the snake. Unfortunately he grabbed it by the tail and got bitten 27 times. On the dick.

To be fair this self view isn’t entirely modern. In fact, it comes from a long tradition of imagining ourselves as hard living bushmen, fully adept at not only surviving but kicking the shit out of the harsh landscapes of the outback.

This myth was initially conjured up around Australia’s Federation in 1901, as the nation desperately sought a national identity that reflected the reality of Australian living, which had little to no relation to the tea drinking, scone eating finery of its British counterpart. The creation of the Australian archetype as a rough talking, beer swilling, hard living man who could kill a crocodile just by making insinuations about its mother, has consequently been burnt into our subconscious whether we like it or not.

Yes, if questioned about it we would be fully aware that this stereotype has little to do with our reality. In fact we often mock it as much as we can. But on some level, deep down, we still believe ourselves to be fundamentally connected to it in an entirely unrealistic way.


We think that everyone loves us.

While what I said above about being positively received by others is, in my experience, largely true- it seems that we are determined to destroy whatever good reputation we may have in the world. Apparently when Australians travel overseas, we have the tendency to exaggerate every negative aspect of ourselves to the detriment of…just everything.

Drinking to excess, being obnoxious about sport and generally acting like we’re allergic to etiquette are some of the most notable symptoms: “In this day and age we are better known as being rude, unabashed, whingers notorious for drinking too much and getting into fights.” At Oktoberfest, extra security guards are hired just to deal with the Australian tent. This may in part be down to a huge fight that happened in 2007 that involved 300 Aussies, as well as our general penchant for punching people right in the face.

Add into this our increasing reputation for human rights abuses, racism and sexism…well, no wonder the Indians hate us.

Not surprisingly, acting like drunken jackasses hasn’t earned us many friends around the world, as we increasingly Gibson ourselves into disfavour.


Australian men are terrible…just terrible.

Lifeguards, crocodile hunters, post-apocalyptic warriors (I can keep referencing the same movies all the time right? Because that’s one stereotype that’s actually true about us, we are incredibly lazy)- whichever well known Australian character you can think of, they all come from the same archetype mentioned above. But despite their coarseness and lack of manners, they manage to make up for it by being strangely appealing in a ‘I can kill things with my dick’ kind of a way.

They’re stoic and sexy in an unpolished, rough and tumble sense that almost makes you want to deliberately put yourself in a perilous situation so they can rescue you whilst making glib remarks in lingo you can’t quite understand. Unfortunately, as already mentioned, the dick killing isn’t strictly true, which just leaves us with the drinking and the swearing and the lack of personal hygiene.

Sure we have guys like this:



And this:



But so many (too many) Australian guys are more something between this:











and this











Despite the charm of Hugh Jackman, Paul Hogan and Mel…I mean, Russ…(ok I can’t think of a third) the reality is much more gross and much less appealing.


And no I didn’t forget about this guy, I just think he’s really smug in the smug hole and it makes me want to smug him over the smugging face. NICE EMBROIDERY SIMON.


So am I just a bitter, sexless old hag who has an unfairly low opinion of her penised countrymen because of my bitter, sexless old haggishness? Maybe. Maybe even yes. But the horribleness of Australian men has actually been quantified by people who know science and understand how numbers work. An Oxford study revealed that Australian men are the worst husbands in the world due to their unwillingness to share domestic duties, thus placing all the burden on their poor hot wives.


Yeah ,you look great. Now do the washing.


Further studies have revealed that Australian men are sub-par lovers, likely to cheat on their girlfriends or dump them if they gain weight. They’re also sexist and sexually violent. Yay?

Indeed despite the existence of many time honoured traditions of courtship, such as drawing sketches of your beloved in blood as they sleep, making a mix tape, or jacking off to their facebook pictures before subtly hinting at it in the comments section via use of the winkey face emoticon, there are still many out there who struggle to embrace these traditions and opt instead for less orthodox, wildly experimental and ultimately creepy methods of courtship. In my experience, Australian men excel at this kind of wooing dumbfuckery.




To illustrate this point I will now give examples of several pick up lines I have either witnessed or been subjected to.

Ladies, get ready to pick which one of these will be the basis of your masturbation fantasy tonight. Gents, take notes.


For the ladies who prefer the direct, depersonalised approach we have this fine selection of lines:

– You got a name?

– Fancy a root?

– Nice tits but your legs are shit.

– Does anyone here want me to buy them a drink or not?

– I wish the lady were a tramp.


Or perhaps Madame would prefer something more awkward and fumbling with just a hint of surreptitious erection hiding:

– Hey..hey you and your friend should kiss. Kiss! Seriously…you should kiss. Are you going to kiss?

– I wanna…*burp* I wanna be the guy who washes your hair. Just like, we could be in the bath and I could wash it. Y’know?

– Hey are you here with anyone? Oh you are? Yeah, yeah good cause I was just on the dance floor and this girl was starting to dance with me and I just wanted your advice on whether I should dance with her or not. I should? Ok thanks. *walks out of the club*

NB: this particular gentleman caller had pie stains on his shirt and was listening to a walkman. A walkman. In a club. So many things to italicise.

Or you can just run up to a girl on the street and lift up her dress. But make sure you do it like a gentleman.

Perhaps you could even enact a Flaming Mangina. For those who are unfamiliar with this practice, it involves tucking your naughty man parts between your legs and then setting your pubic hair on fire. Certainly the mating rituals of us Australians are unusual indeed.

I mean I appreciate people doing horrifying things with their genitals as much as the next girl (that’s what vagina monologues were about, right?) but with this I just can’t get on board.


Whether tis nobbler in the mind…


Australian women are hot.

On the up side, apparently people still tend to think that Australian women are hot.


According to Google we’re also slutty.


The hotness of Australian women unfortunately cannot be measured empirically, except that it can be and it has. In 2009 it was reported that due to increasing demand, Australian lingerie companies have had to introduce J – K cups for women’s bras. Increasing demand. Australians all let us rejoice, indeed (or get ready for some serious back problems).

Apparently over 40% of Australian women now buy bras over DD cup size. Experts “blame the cleavage boost on obesity, contraceptive pills and artificial hormones” for this sudden increase in the size of our naughty pillows. I’m not sure where ‘blame’ comes into this, I’m too distracted trying to imagine what K cup boobs look like. Some may say this proves an increasing trend towards obesity, whereas others would say it proves the existence of God.

So I guess that’s some kind of reprieve. Unless that’s also just a big lie and then people expect us to be exceptionally hot and big boobed only to be disappointed by the reality.



90 Comments on “The reality of being Australian and why it is disappointing.”

  1. Dror says:

    Australian women are hot. !!!
    is the author single ?

    nice writing fun and funny makes you wish it will never end
    the build ups for the new thing , examples and references
    really made this extraordinary

  2. Anonymous says:

    Haha I laughed out loud! Great article 😀

  3. MK says:

    Everything you wrote is so true…I’m an Aussie girl and I’d rather marry myself or become a Cat Lady than marry an Aussie guy. Who want’s to hear ‘go get me a beer, luv’ for the rest of their life, ugh. Thank God I travel!

    • For sure. It’s so infuriating! And there’s always, “Take it easy, sweetheart.”

      That’s one of my favourites.

      Thanks for reading!

    • Go fuck your cat. says:

      “I’m an Aussie girl and I’d rather marry myself or become a Cat Lady than marry an Aussie guy” <– it's probably your feminist attitude, the feminism thing "I'm a victim because I'm female, I'm never wrong because I'm female" is VERY unattractive to me, aussie women think their gods gift to men, I dunno, they think they are like female american celebrities or something, raised on trashy TV culture, really narcissist, they sleep around like crazy, lie, cheat, gold-dig and generally can't be trusted!! (sorry if this is a generalisation but it's true!)

      Aussie women bagging out your men is ridiculous, Think of your men as a reflection of the women, if the women are all fucked up, how do you think the men are gonna turn out?

      I wonder why so many white australian men are marrying asian women? hmmm

      We still only have a tiny population, so of course we are not going to be very influential on a world stage.

      • Dude, seriously the unintentional irony here is off the charts.

        Let’s break it down.

        1) You’re pissed off that the OP criticises Australian men and then go on a misogynistic tirade against Australian women.

        2) You think even if Aussie men are crap then it’s because Aussie women make them that way but reject the idea that it may also apply the other way (although I think both of those ideas are flawed).

        3) You accuse the OP of having a ‘feminist victim complex’ (despite there being nothing to suggest that in her post) and then go on to detail how you’ve supposedly been victimised by women.

        It sounds like you just have a massive chip on your shoulder, are upset that women won’t just do what you say and are looking for any reason to have a rant and lay all the blame for everything at the feet of women. Any reason not to look at yourself critically, right?

        • Please die says:

          1) Ironic? this whole article is just a pathetic feminist rant. just leave “australia” out of it.

          2) Well I come from a broken dysfunctional family, but then again half of my friends do too, actually the majority of them. But hey it’s just the ‘norm’ these days I guess….when It wasn’t in our grandparents generation. The stupid hippie movement, it did more harm than good.

          3) Marry yourself? common she needs to be criticised, she doesn’t deserve white male civilisation, she needs to be dumped on lesbian island.

          4) Yeh a course I do, because in my experience, todays anglo-celtic women tend to be whores, liars and cheats that can’t keep their legs closed. and no I don’t really give a shit if that’s not a “political correct” thing to say. Now go get your fake fan, put on some big fly-eyed sunnies and go take another 5000 photos of yourself for fakebook. =)

        • Bruce says:

          Good advice look at yourself

      • Bruce says:

        Beautiful intelligent a most refreshing view. You are right. These people are doing nothing but harm to their genders and the human species .
        Peace to you and yours

    • Joey says:

      I am an Australian guy and I totally agree with you, ditch asswipes like that and try finding the right person for you.

    • Bruce says:

      Wow yes ud Aussie guys all the same. As far as you’re concerned. And Aussie women are infallible. We know. The only paedophile I knew as a child was a woman. So that means one was you all are. Is that what we are doing now?!!
      Perhaps you small minority of morons Male and female need to look closer to home instead for your social problems to move on and be more content

  4. claudette dalton says:

    aye right somebody can see aussie men are macho yuk shit heads have no class not marriage material all closet gays, their fucking yuk to me. Give me an a hot american any day their marriage material and think of women, even the nerdy guys are hot, aussie men to me are what i call, the last fucking resort yuk zzzzzzzzz boring wankers, like robin williams said, Australias a big alabama,ha ha to true. ya bunch of redneck motherfuckers

    • Please die says:

      “yuk shit heads have no class, their fucking yuk to me” <— wow you sound so "classy" how ironic, now go back to your dildo.

      • And the irony continues.

        You accuse the OP of being classless and then tell her to ‘go back to your dildo’ but you don’t think that makes you classless?

        Having said that, I’m not down with the OP’s original message and its homophobia and general vitriol.

        • Please die says:

          “yuk shit heads have no class, their fucking yuk to me” seriously go up to ANY guy and talk like that, and see how far you get. She shouldn’t be accusing white australian males of having ‘no class’ when she herself sounds like a piece of obnoxious trash.

          • Joey says:

            Well said friend.

            • flames FLAMES says:

              Oi! why am i STILL getting comments?… on this? yeh yeh
              Australia… not the greatest place not the worst. (I dunno about comparisons) but I’m just a convict c#nt what would I know???? I think certain things … then think different things later…. I don’t like this article

              Lesbian island …GO!!!!


  5. Shaun says:

    Hey this was damn good.. but i wanna ask you.. that do you guys hate asians?? (mainly indians..) and what sports or games is popular there..

    • Some Guy says:

      Indians aren’t really considered “asians” here, football and cricket.
      I dunno I guess it’s just a fear of being taken over.

    • Hey man – Australia has a long history of anti-Asian prejudice stemming from the fear of invasion, the fear of being a ‘white island’ in an Asian region and from long perpetuated beliefs that Asians are racially inferior.

      I don’t exactly know where anti-Indian prejudice comes from but it may stem from our connections to the British empire and our inheritance of British attitudes towards Indian people.

      As to sports – football, soccer, cricket, tennis…

      • Please die says:

        hey maaaan woodstock, peace and love. Yeh well, the Japanese they were pretty damn brutal weren’t they, and obviously a serious threat, they bombed the shit out of darwin for one. My grandpas uncles was beheaded in a japanese war camp along with hundreds of thousands of our men dying in that war. Go ask the chinese and koreans what they think of the japanese.

        Australia is not part of Asia, it’s Oceania. It’s not like the original inhabitance were ‘asian’

      • Please die says:

        evil white male, evil white male evil white male, that’s that’s all the comes to mind when I read your guilt-trip bullshit.

        • Anonymous says:

          I think you are proving her point mate

          • Crickey! says:

            WHAT point? ..”mate” ? look this article is a bunch of bullshit~ “the reality of being australian and why it’s disappointing” and it’s got all the stereotypical pictures and then it goes on about how bad the “men” are, well maybe the women are sh#t too!? …

            like (personal experience) half the girls in highschool had already 10 different dicks inside them at the age of 16, or the fake tans, fake boobs, fake personalities, big hollywood sunnies, the ‘sex in the city’ life, or how they are in their mid thirties and still just live for partying, drinking and trying find random one night stands? Or how you are nothing, but an ATM machine to them, or how most of the m8s I grew up with just came from broken families? … I could go on and go on… but yeh generalization. ~ maybe just Sydney

            Australia is not a bad place, it has it’s good and bad things It~ this is coming from someone that’s travelled overseas.

            but I’m so tired of the righteous politically correct arsewipes they’re as bad as the far rightists.

            I have problems staying positive in life sometimes too (with all the bullshit one goes through)…but I dunno taking it out on the whole country? hmm

            • “Hyperbole is the use of exaggeration as a rhetorical device or figure of speech. It may be used to evoke strong feelings or to create a strong impression, ****but is not meant to be taken literally.****

              Hyperboles are exaggerations to create emphasis or effect. As a literary device, hyperbole is often used in poetry, and is frequently encountered in casual speech. An example of hyperbole is: “The bag weighed a ton.” Hyperbole makes the point that the bag was very heavy, though it probably does not weigh a ton.”


              Oh and you might need this one too:


              • Crickey! says:

                Right! an intellectual, more like a petty egoist, I stand by what I wrote ~ and couldn’t be fucked replying because you add no real defence to valid criticism to this so called ‘masterpiece’ of writing.

            • Ann Moore says:

              Late to the convo. Better late than never.
              Re: your high school girls- When young a stupid egotistical boys say vulgar things about you all the time, they probably have little self- worth. Was your dick inside them? Did you attempt to make a change?

              I think not- probably the exact narcissist dick they had grown accustom to. Try being respectful, and see what “ Aussie girls” you can find.

              Culture and Country is beautiful. The men are vultures and pieces of shit to women. Change the stereotype instead of defending what is obviously the truth.
              Too hard? Thought so!

  6. mark says:

    I enjoy your writing 🙂

    I am an Australian man and I agree with everything here. I live in Melbourne’s CBD where every weekend and public holiday I have opportunity to observe the repulsive inhabitants of this country pour themselves out of public bars and onto the streets shouting, throwing up and punching each other. I can’t remember the last time I was able to catch a tram without having to bear the slack-jawed racist idle banter of obese white adolescents and their parents, both dressed entirely in some sports team’s merchandise. I have had to cease riding my bike to work due to a growing anti-bicycle culture amongst motorists who seem to genuinely desire to run over cyclists with their cars. I often see men in cars shout abuse at young women as they drive past, and sometimes even throw bottles or other debris at them from their car windows while blaring the latest club anthem from the car stereo at four in the morning. Strangers are always asking me where they can find a 24h bottle shop, presumably because the bars have kicked them out for intoxication.

    This is what Australian culture really looks like.

    • Joey says:

      I am similar to you man, I hate the social norms in Australia, every guy seems to be obsessed with partying, alcohol, sex and drugs. They are truly scum of the earth. I am hoping that things will get better at University, I feel that it may depend on the course I get into too.

  7. Anonymous says:

    If aussie women think aussie men are such douche bags then why the hell do they defend the dolts when they cheat on them? Why do they blame the other woman?

    • All Australian women do this, do they? ALL Australian women? ALL of us?

      • Anonymous says:

        I am just asking the question. It does appear that way to me. now if they don’t and they hold the fucksticks accountable then please let me know, cause I haven’t seen it.

      • Bruce says:

        I know real morons some people male,are you reading this stuff?This is what happens when you teach people to be hypersensitive, hillarious., the cancer we call politically correct (whatever that means). Personally gender isn’t a factor in deciding whether I like someone peace

  8. Crickey! says:

    “lie back and think of England” we white australian are actually mix of english, scottish and irish (probably a bit of welsh too) ignorant bitch.

  9. goundy says:

    Na Aussie women are nasty.

    Me and pretty much every guy I know completed the sexodus by only dating non-aussies (Asians, Eastern Europeans, South Americans etc..).

  10. Claudette dalton says:

    Aussie men are dumb backward no taste bogan wankers and macho 2 boot yuky in and out unromantic just yuuukkk yuuukk eeewww ugly

    • Edward says:

      You aren’t looking hard enough, not all Australian men are yuck. I find some to be well mannered, beautiful gentlemen who enjoy interests outside the “norm”. It is an idiotic statement that cast the whole nation of men in one category as “yuk”. You obviously live in the terrible side of the city. Claudette, what if someone was to call you yuck, how do you think that would make you feel? And ugly and backward and dumb. Women these days seem to be pretentious Oompa Loompa bitches who think the world is served to them on a platter. We have the ” kardashians” and Hollywood to thank for this. You need to get real. You are obviously looking in the wrong spots. The places full of wankers, boring guys, dumb fucktards. Get out there and meet the amazing ones!

    • Ann Moore says:

      Claudette! Couldn’t agree more… not get this egotistical bastards to see themselves… good luck

  11. J says:

    Well, as a Canadian I have to admit I’m a bit disappointed. I thought it would be fun to date a cute Australian guy but if the majority are how the author describes them then I think I’ll pass. I would still love to travel to your beautiful country though. All I ever hear about Australia is that it’s similar to Canada and everyone who goes there really enjoys themselves.

    I just want to say I enjoy how the author wrote this article, it was very enlightening and quite funny.

  12. Why walk when you can run says:

    Overseas Australians have such a bad reputation for partying even the poms make fun of them (which is rich considering what I saw of the English in Ibiza, the locals hated them with a passion). I used to joke we’re sending our trash back to England as revenge for sending us down, I hate binge drinking culture.

    I can’t stand the alcohol and sporting culture in oz, in the suburbs it’s hard to find single locals who don’t drink and gamble to excess or go stupid when “the footy” is on (maybe that’s why they’re single), inevitably they’re the loudest and most obnoxious and give everyone a bad name. For people like myself who don’t really drink there isn’t all that much to do a lot of places outside the city and people give you a hard time if you have other interests, I can’t stand the drab “redneck wonderland” mono culture so I spend most of my time in the city or around expats who have a broader worldview and more diverse interests.

    Australian women are (falsely) cast as uneducated, butch, sluts which makes it hard to be taken seriously and gets you unwelcome attention not just from the locals but from some nationalities who think Australian women are whores, both can treat women horribly and get very threatening (even physical) when you won’t play along, if you’re a local woman here you’re a long way down the social pecking order. Because I don’t have the drawl and loud, coarse personality people expect Australian women to have I’m always being asked if I’m English (I’m not), this according to the locals of course makes me a “stuck up bitch” (and proud of it if being a feral brain dead drunken pack a day slapper is the alternative).

    I stopped dating Australian men in my late 20’s, not by design but by default, the ones I met still single at that age just didn’t date like adults, they dated like self centered teens (I know men in their 40s and 50s who still do and can’t work out why women snub them), where as expats date the same way I was brought up to so I naturally I end up going out with them. The last time I was approached by an Aussie when I was out the guy was doing ok saying hello, asking me to join him (instead of just plonking himself down uninvited and blasting me with personal questions like they usually do) and offering to buy me a drink, until decided to add “I promise I won’t put a roofie in it”, clueless, utterly clueless.

    • Lenore says:

      Yes. Pick up lines I have heard in Australia include: “My face is leaving in 5 minutes – be on it” and recently a guy ran up to me on a nightclub dancefloor and grabbed his t-shirt and pulled it out above his nipples to simulate having breasts and then said to me “let’s swap t-shirts”. A man in the smoking area of a bar recently shoved me on the arm when i politely wouldn’t answer his personal questions. Some years ago i was asked on a date and went on the date and at the end of the meal the waiter asked the guy if he was paying and he handed the waiter a credit card and said “The man always pays” in a sort of knowing, resigned, annoyed way (right in front of me. I felt incredibly insulted and never dated him again). When I was young (in the 80s) I went on a few dates where I got a very aggressive earful at the end of the date because I wouldn’t put out. I don’t think I tried hard enough to find myself a good foreign man, once I realised what Australian men are like, but I never bothered marrying, if i can put it that way.

      • Ann Moore says:

        I feel your pain. Met my Aussie man in the States( not his turf)- amazing! Few selfish way and things to work on. Don’t we all have some things to work on?
        In his world Down Under- repulsive and made me a cautious women. I refuse to be spoken to in that disgusting manner or treated anyway than respectful.
        Good for for you for seeing it’s them, not you!

    • Ann Moore says:

      Why walk when you can run,
      Beautifully said, I didn’t have the exposure for the length you had in Australia. However, the exposure I did have, I truly wanted to embrace and felt “I could show through genuine love, an Aussie man a selfless way of love” wrong!!!! It’s unfortunate those who could have been lucky enough to date you and the one who was lucky enough I dated him, has lost out on life!
      Point, this article is unfortunately, accurate!
      Good luck in finding someone who deserves you!

  13. Bored says:

    You complain about irony. You whinge that Australia is not cultured and the men are narssistic and treat women like dirt. You then remind us that Australians are racist etc…. Then two things that you have entered on to your blog.
    1. The sly remark about British drinking tea and eating scones. A stereotype that you initially complained about when the boot is on the other foot regarding Australia’s.
    2. The English Flag and your stupid comment underneath.
    As a Englishman living in Australia I can tell you know that I can’t wait to leave this dump. I came over with rose tinted glasses expecting my experience of meeting cultured Aussies in UK to be same. How wrong was I. The people I came across was women like you. Arrogant. Subliminal racism. A superiority complex. I couldn’t understand it. Australian women have the same personality as my wardrobe. I can say based on my opinion that English women win hands down. Oh and yeah I’m earning your cash and I will fuck off home and you know what? I can’t wait… What makes me laugh is your national misguided belief that Australia is relevant in the world. I came here to retire, but I’m bored.

    • Ann Moore says:

      YOU are the issue. Deal with yourself, and your traits just like the Aussie Jerks…good luck with that realization. Ass

  14. Claudette dalton says:

    Well, edward u sound like 90 per cent of these macho bigmouth self cendterd unclassy houso bogan, give me an american male ANYDAY over u dumb backward cuntiest men on the planet, u think ur nice but u reply like an aussie macho woman bashing cunt, fuk off u dumb classless unitelligent aussie CUNT!

  15. Michael says:

    I dont understand this article or much of the hte speech, you know i read in a book once that when you allow people to just be themselves then you as well can just be yourself, dont set high expectations for people and you wont be dissapointed , and as well try your hardest not to judge others, I am Australian i have also lived in NZ for 23 years, I can tell you this much whereever you go in this world you will meet all sorts of people from all walks of life there is good and bad in every country on the planet, I love Australia and living in it, I have met some people i would rather not hang out with and i have some good friends and every day i meet more, Australians are very warm and if you havnt met warm people it just confuses me none of you have, Australians both sexes are generous and funny, unfortunatley in this world none of us are perfect, anyway I continue to do what i do in life an Automotive technician and i do a lot of good work i come home with cuts and bruises however i enjoy getting results, I enjoy going out and socialising , with eqaul rights being prominent why does the man have to do all the romantic things, women of course did ask for eqaulity i guess its the old addage be carefull what you ask for , i have tried being romantic to women in australia its like a game to them and not really worth the hassle sorry ladys men are tired of there feelings being trodden on, anyway there are all walks of life in Australia, women in australia dont like being told what to do however want to tell others what to do seems a bit one sided, women believe they have all the answers they seem to want all the trappings ie… travelling except you women do realise who mainly keeps the technology going and who actually fixes most things your car etc… only to put up with a form of arrogance like you are better than everyone else, and that you are just ,
    excuse me if i fail to be romantic if im continuosly covered in grease and oil and working hard to keep the economy and the country moving so women can go to the supermarket with ease, women are spoilt in australia they have become a want , want , want mentallity all there way it has to be and i dont need a man etc… who needs them and so it continues women bring on their own suffering where men just get on with living, a big majority of women in australia are stuck up with too much money and they hoard money its fairly disgusting actually and then they hypocritically open there mouths about how compassionate they are however dont really help anyone, if you women are not getting involved with all aspects of society and helping out where you can and want to just laze around the place like the slobs you are, how do you expect us to work hard romantically when romance does not get our womanly needs met, YES play all your games none of us could care less LOL

    • Ann Moore says:

      Hey there!
      Lived the hell of a jerk Aussie man, after every attempt to please and support him!
      Lived in NZ? Eh?

      Have no idea how you can compare the two! NZ gentleman was excellent on all levels. Aussie men are far worse.
      No hate- TRUTH!

    • Ann Moore says:

      You are ridiculous. Romantic and covered in oil in the same sentence? Stupid. We “ Aussie women”
      Can find a shop to work on our car or better yet, do it ourselves!
      Focus on treating a women properly. Your normal manly duties does not exempt you from respecting women and romance! Pure ignorance. Not surprising!

  16. Anonymous says:

    evil men evil men evil men………yep that sums up australian men!!!

  17. MGTOW says:

    Melbourne women are rubbish.

    Most females are the evil.

    • Ann Moore says:

      Spoken from a true asshole Aussie male. Welcome to your article- written just about you! See the Aussies are jerk section!

  18. Jessica Burne says:

    I have lived on two continents in my life and travelled, I have lived in the beautiful city of Canberra 12 years originally born in Johannesburg, South Africa. Now, I have met many people of different backgrounds and I understand a lot. Can I just say to this article and the ignorant unintelligent comments that its so sad? Being grateful in life will save you century of heartache! Wheres the gratitude for the good public transport systems in Australia? Wheres the gratitude for the beautiful nature, bushlands, oceans and animals in Australia? Wheres the gratitude for Centrelink in Australia or the ability to get help if you have a disability or are unemployed? Wheres the gratitude for both sexes– male or female and their fundamental differences that actually work well in marriages. Wheres the gratitude for jobs that are paid well or with the strong Australian dollar? Wheres the gratitude for the safety we have in Australia, the crime is low for example in Canberra. Wheres the gratitude for all the awesome mental health support systems we have here? Gratitude brings JOY, it really does, appreciate the small things in life. Australian men are far from bogans– where do u meet them?– at pubs and clubs? Well my friends you are looking in the wrong places. Join a sports club, gym or hobbies group and get a life and wake up to how beautiful Australia is– men and women! What would I know right? Im just a 29 year old female studying counselling and family therapy in small Canberra. Canberra is absolutely beautiful too:). My point is if you focus on the negative you will get negative— wake up and be grateful and have the courage to be vulnerable lean into the joy of life and let the rest go. God bless and good luck:)

    • Ann Moore says:

      Hmmm! Living in hell with an Aussie man and his jerk behavior.
      Good Transportation and safety isn’t the REAL Aussie here. Aussie women or any women deserve better treatment, regardless of how you get around your lovely city!

  19. Shaun says:

    Ok let’s compare Aussie guys to other guys around the world. Let’s say there’s 3 billion men in the world. About 2 to 2 1/2 billion of those men are from India/Middle East, Asia and Africa. If Aussie guys are so bad then go and find a nice Chinese, middle eastern guy or African guy…that’s what Australian men are doing these days( marrying foreign women) because we are tired of rude, self entitled little Aussie princesses who don’t even know how to be a real women and think they all deserve to marry a ‘Hugh Jackman’. Seriously, what do Australian women offer to Australian men??? Nothing!!! Yet there are so many Aussie guys out there that have good looks, financially setup, own a property and are honest hard working guys. Yet they can’t find a decent woman so they go overseas and look elsewhere. I know so many guys now that refuse to date Aussie girls and will only date a foreigner. So wake up women and start showing some respect for the guys here or you will be lonely forever

  20. john says:

    I will man splain you a new word, its called introspection, I did not have to google it before I posted to try to one up you. How has your toxic way of thinking been working out for you so far? You are australian yet you do not know we have classes here same as everywhere else?? Thing is, these real men you speak of, bogans etc, Im a laborer by day then I piss up all me pay. If you did not have them who would lay the bricks to build your house, crawl up in your roof risking asbestosis or fix your central heating and basically build all the infrastrucure you take for granted each day? I doubt you know much about about history, but maybe you have seen the great aussie film Kokoda? These are the terrible, yes terrible men that fought to protect Australia from being invaded buy the Japanese, in conditions you would not last an hour in.

    You are obviously one and the same as the ‘bogan’ men you speak of pretending to be clever. but you actually sound like a complete idiot.

    Anyway the girls on here sound like a real catch, you are all destined to a life of sadness, but are to ignorant and stupid to see it.

    • Ann Moore says:

      Oh, Classic example of a the educated, sensitive or at least respective Aussie Man!
      Well done. Why did you even respond?
      Prime example of who the writer speaks of here.
      Well done!

  21. michael says:

    a stereo typed, generalised article that bears no resemblence to actual reality

    • Ann Moore says:

      Micheal, I disagree! I lived then life with the exact jerk the writer speaks of in the article! It WAS my reality. Open your eyes.

  22. I love anything & everything that is written well… yeah you got some good content going on there for sure.

  23. shane says:

    Your comments are complety gender biased. Most Australian are not that much better. Extremely low educated, about as emotionally evolved as a menstrating teenager, very sheepish on all levels, materialistc, even all the sub cultures are boringly conformist, and most are extremely obese. I think Australian women are mostly unattractive.

    • Ann Moore says:

      Shane YOU are probably the exact one the article speaks of, good for you! Old and lonely is no fun! Enjoy that time!

  24. Ann Moore says:

    A little late tontge conversation, but was researching “ why Aussies are jerks?” I read this and year later have to comment.
    You are spot on! Tolerated this flip-flop male behavior for 4 years- ditched him. Reconnected for fun, and immediately his crude and insensitive vulgar remarks surfaced! I wish I could understand why women have such little value to the Aussie men? I dated a Kiwi too. No comparison! Especially in the sub-par lover. Sorry, but the Kiwi wins! Hands down. He was very humble and understated, and a “
    Giver!” Unlike the Aussie. The mystery you spokenof regarding the Aussie is there, but I refuse to let any male speak to me in the vulgar and fickle manner of an Aussie.
    I agree with you! Thanks for trying to explaining the bahvior. So confusing. Let’s not forget VERY SELFISH men too! Wow!
    Sorry Aussies your women are too beautiful to treat them or anyone badly! European men in areas and Americans would love you hot Aussie ladies. Know your worth!

  25. anita collins says:

    I am married to a Swedish man, so much more respect to women ! Have lived with Australian men, who i enjoyed. You have to take people individually ! I have met some real rednecks also .You have to take the good with the bad !

  26. Anonymous says:

    Someone told me that Australian women really like men from Canada and the US because we treat them so much better than Australian men.

  27. misos says:

    Women control the dating market, so if men aren’t being gentlemen it is because they aren’t rewarded for being one. It really is as simple as that. Men look at who is getting laid and it usually isn’t gentlemen.

    I’ve lived in many different countries and Australian women appreciate ‘gentlemen’ the least unless they are very good looking and/or wealthy, and even then they tend to not be receptive to their advances until they are well into their 30’s.

    Finding Australian women that have any real interests outside of popular culture is hard. It is easy in Europe though, especially Southern Europe, but the men are almost as bad in Australia.

    As a whole, Australians have a lot of growing up to do.

  28. Anonymous says:

    All Aussies are RUDE idiots

  29. Anonymous says:

    That’s why my wife is Asian,cooking me fish now,can’t wait to go and live in Thailand.Away from Bogan JOE land forever.

  30. Anonymous says:

    Moving to Thailand,can’t wait,if I see one more Aussie in my face,I’ll punch him in the GOB,then piss on him.

  31. Anonymous says:

    i have been working is sales for the last 10 years now. but i wonder.. WHY DO AUSTRALIANS LIE A LOT??? – none of the Australian I spoke in the last 10 years have the guts to tell me, i cant afford it. – the always give me some shitty answer like, i’ll think about it and disappear, ill talk to my wife, an emergency happened, my dog died, something came up at work – or some astronomically creative bullshit. why?? oh why??

  32. Jerommeke says:

    I suppose having found this website suggests that I Goolged something along the lines of “Why are Australians messy” or such. I had.
    I left Australia some 30 years ago and was surprised at what I saw when I visited some months ago. Maybe it was the Melbourne suburb I was staying in but I was somewhat taken aback on how shabby and unhealhy the majority of people looked. I was shocked to see whole families walking around in Kmart in bare feet. The figures of most women and alot of men were quite shocking.
    I think that Australians – both men and women are generally speaking friendly although they don’t care much for etiquette of the finer things in life. I’m not too sure I would like to live in Australia permanently again though.
    Nevertheless it certainly is in many ways a very pleasant country.

  33. Thegmit says:

    Australians don’t actually have a pretty good reputation abroad, to be honest. At least in Europe. Possibly they do in other continents but not here, I’m afraid.

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