IKEA + Man Nursery = Sexism to the Power of ‘Get Totally Fucked’Posted: September 30, 2011
So IKEA have decided to introduce a new area in their otherwise painfully maze-like shopping complexes, where you can play video games, watch tv and otherwise chill out. Sounds awesome, right? Well it’s too bad they’ve decided to be sexist fuck-holes about it.
You see, this isn’t some kind of general entertainment area. No. It’s a fucking ‘man nursery’. Hold on…what? A MAN NURSERY? Because men are like children who need to be distracted by bright lights and fast moving objects so that they don’t piss their pants in public and accidentally wander off with a stranger??
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?
I mean, this is exactly what it sounds like. Women go drop off their shitty, stupid men at the ‘nursery’ so they can go spend all their money and look at pretty fabrics (every woman’s orgasmic dream!). Not only that, but just like the nursery for children, women are given a buzzer that goes off after 30 minutes to remind them to go pick up their partner. You know, like you would a meal at the pub. Because men are 1) forgettable 2) like children and 3) big fat fucking inanimate wastes of space, who (if not collected) would sit in IKEA shitting their pants and playing Xbox until security throws them out. Presumably then they would wander around the parking lot until they got hit by a car.
Apparently this is all to help women, so they don’t have to put up with a “whinging guy hanging around with them while they’re shopping”. You know, because of how fucking useless men are and how they can’t ever properly contribute to an equal partnership. I mean, that’s exactly how I view any man I go out with- as an annoying lump of wood that I have to cart around while I’m shopping. Especially because as a female, I have an irrepressible compulsion to shop and I also have the inability to leave the house alone- hence why I just can’t stop dragging my big dumb boyfriend everywhere while he sacks around like a whiny piece of shit.
As Lisa Wade says:
“…this is more insidiously problematic even than that. It tells women that they can’t expect men to be grown ups. And if men can’t be grown ups, then we certainly can’t expect them to do their share of the dishes or the hard work of raising families or, for that matter, be a true and equal emotional partner.”
Brilliant. Men get to be irresponsible children while women do all the shitty, domestic stuff because…we have ovaries? I didn’t realise my breasts meant that I can’t dislike shopping or that it’s inappropriate for me to shirk my responsibilities yet I should be actively encouraging my boyfriend to do the very same. I’m glad IKEA are on top of this.
See the girl ‘dropping off’ her boyfriend at 1:36? That weird breathy giggle she gives? It’s because she has no idea what the fuck is going on.
Also, if everyone will take note, the men in the nursery? They’re all fucking douchebags.
Yeah, this isn’t insulting to anyone. Because, as we all know, most male/female relationships are exactly like the show ‘Married with Children’. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was a documentary.