IKEA + Man Nursery = Sexism to the Power of ‘Get Totally Fucked’

So IKEA have decided to introduce a new area in their otherwise painfully maze-like shopping complexes, where you can play video games, watch tv and otherwise chill out. Sounds awesome, right? Well it’s too bad they’ve decided to be sexist fuck-holes about it.

You see, this isn’t some kind of general entertainment area. No. It’s a fucking ‘man nursery’. Hold on…what? A MAN NURSERY? Because men are like children who need to be distracted by bright lights and fast moving objects so that they don’t piss their pants in public and accidentally wander off with a stranger??

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS?

I mean, this is exactly what it sounds like. Women go drop off their shitty, stupid men at the ‘nursery’ so they can go spend all their money and look at pretty fabrics (every woman’s orgasmic dream!). Not only that, but just like the nursery for children, women are given a buzzer that goes off after 30 minutes to remind them to go pick up their partner. You know, like you would a meal at the pub. Because men are 1) forgettable 2) like children and 3) big fat fucking inanimate wastes of space, who (if not collected) would sit in IKEA shitting their pants and playing Xbox until security throws them out. Presumably then they would wander around the parking lot until they got hit by a car.

Apparently this is all to help women, so they don’t have to put up with a “whinging guy hanging around with them while they’re shopping”. You know, because of how fucking useless men are and how they can’t ever properly contribute to an equal partnership. I mean, that’s exactly how I view any man I go out with- as an annoying lump of wood that I have to cart around while I’m shopping. Especially because as a female, I have an irrepressible compulsion to shop and I also have the inability to leave the house alone- hence why I just can’t stop dragging my big dumb boyfriend everywhere while he sacks around like a whiny piece of shit.

As Lisa Wade says:

“…this is more insidiously problematic even than that.  It tells women that they can’t expect men to be grown ups.  And if men can’t be grown ups, then we certainly can’t expect them to do their share of the dishes or the hard work of raising families or, for that matter, be a true and equal emotional partner.”

Brilliant. Men get to be irresponsible children while women do all the shitty, domestic stuff because…we have ovaries? I didn’t realise my breasts meant that I can’t dislike shopping or that it’s inappropriate for me to shirk my responsibilities yet I should be actively encouraging my boyfriend to do the very same. I’m glad IKEA are on top of this.

See the girl ‘dropping off’ her boyfriend at 1:36? That weird breathy giggle she gives? It’s because she has no idea what the fuck is going on.

Also, if everyone will take note, the men in the nursery? They’re all fucking douchebags.

Yeah, this isn’t insulting to anyone. Because, as we all know, most male/female relationships are exactly like the show ‘Married with Children’. In fact, I’m pretty sure that was a documentary.

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2 Comments on “IKEA + Man Nursery = Sexism to the Power of ‘Get Totally Fucked’”

  1. Jordan says:

    Wow, I’m a little late in hearing about this, but I’m surprised something like this even exists. It goes a little bit farther than the usual misandry or the usual misogyny and it manages to offend both sides of the spectrum. Of course, it’s probably a little more insulting to men, and gives women the assumption of complete domestic control (and monetary control too). A funny little stereotype, that the men make the money and the women spend it for them.

    Unless they’re going to future shop to buy computers, video games, big screen TVs, or fancy gadgets. Then of course, corporate cultural engineering allows for MORE spending. Why not pretend both sides spend more money than each other so they both spend more? More fancy toilet paper for rich people.

    Imagine Futureshop decided they needed a little spa to distract the women while the men bought all their gadgets. Clearly, women have no aptitude or comprehension for technology and would be much more comfortable sitting around getting their nails trimmed and painted, dead skin filed off their feet with sandpaper on a stick, and various creams smothered on various parts of their bodies with various supersititous ingredients. Maybe a couple cucumber slices over the eyes because of the superstition that cucumber has the magical ability to a middle-aged woman look like a teenager. Best she’ll accomplish in reality is MILF status, no matter how much cream she gets on her face, as we all know from porn that milfs get a lot of cream on their face already and they don’t belong in the “teen” section of porn.

    Women try everything under the sun to look like teenagers again cause men are notorious for liking them young. They shave their legs and armpits and crotch, removing secondary sex characteristics. Doesn’t everybody know what that implies about our culture? It’s bad enough with Bratz dolls and Britney Spears turning little girls into sluts, but we have adults shaving everything under the impression that HAIRLESS is sexy.

    Okay okay, maybe I’m just strange for liking hairy girls who have CLEARLY passed puberty by the amount of hair on their bodies.

    Men drag a razor across their face every day to look like beardless children as well, cause clearly, women are pedos too. We’d probably shave our balls too if all those dangly folds of flesh down there didn’t rub against each other and the inner thighs so much.

    Clearly I’m being full of shit and I’ve strayed from the point so I’ll stop here. But gee, sexism makes the world so much more interesting.


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